ash wednesday marks the beginning of lent, and while i’m not catholic, i do like the idea of giving something up for a season. however, i also think that the idea of lent gets lost when people use it as a “new years resolution 2.0” for example, or as the gateway to their diet. i want to try to embrace lent as remembering what the season stands for: this the period of the last days of Christ, before He made his sacrifice for me. and in that spirit, i don’t want to give up chocolate, or stop drinking alcohol, but rather give up existing rather than living.
for lent, i want to live to the full. smile more, complain less, feel more gratitude. i want to spend time with friends, make memories, learn things, challenge myself, explore new places and ideas. plan for the summer, pour myself into the things that fill up my days.
because we only get so many days. life is so painfully short, so uncertain, so fragile. i find myself in tears frequently, mourning the loss of someone who meant so much to me. but she did not let her illness define her, and did her best not to let it prevent her from living. til the very end, she fought against this. and in that spirit, i too want to live my life, rather than simply exist in it. i don’t want to miss out on my own life mourning the loss of hers, but i’d rather celebrate both of our lives, and be so filled with gratitude for all the years that i knew her and the smiles she brought me.
in reality, i don’t have much to complain about. but i have an abundance to rejoice in. i hope for these 40 days and beyond that i can seize happiness, cling to God, and be as present as possible in the world around me. i’m giving up a halfassed existence for Lent, to celebrate my Savior and my life and my endless blessings. after all, as the Beatles so perfectly said:
life is very short, and there’s no time
for fussing and fighting my friend
i hope to work on biting my tongue against words that are better left unspoken, and speaking up those things that get under-said, like i love you and thank you and be positive.
at peace, not in pieces 