leaving on a jet plane

i can’t believe it’s finally july!! that means that my favorite holiday, the 4th of july is here (tomorrow), and then it’s finally time for my long awaited cruise! and at the end of those short 11 days, i will be back on my own, moved out and into my apartment. things i have been looking forward to for so long are finally here, and i must admit that it’s all a bit overwhelming, but also exhilarating. this is recovery, this is freedom, this is really living my life. and i am loving every second of it! it’s kinda perfect that the start of this increased level of freedom falls on the 4th of july…independence day. it’s really fitting. but then again, every day feels like independence day for me.

before i left, i thought i’d share my goals for july, as i slacked a bit on the june ones:

• have foods i’ve been avoiding (full fat muffin, chocolate croissant, potato/egg salad)
• eat more fresh fruits and veggies
• read 5+ books
• take lots of pictures
• try to be more social
• make a budget for the school year
• be crafty/ make apartment decor
• make someone smile every day

i don’t want to be too ambitious, or do anything i’ll feel bad about if i don’t achieve. SMART goals, and all that. i know that i’ll be able to accomplish all these, but they’re also rewarding on many levels. i am so excited to be back on my own, to be standing on my own two feet and moving forward again. part of the excitement is not even knowing where this life is taking me, but enjoying the journey in the day to day, the little things and big things alike, the way that it is all coming together so beautifully and my assurance that it will continue to weave together in God’s perfect way.

i am trying new foods, going to new places, learning new ways. five months ago yesterday i was admitted to residential treatment, full of ambivalence and dreading the future. now i am eager for it to come, yet happy in the individual moments. i feel like a whole new person, a better version of rachel; i feel like someone that the girl who checked into residential didn’t even believe could exist.

so bring it july, i am so happy you are finally here!

i hope you all have a wonderful 4th of july, if you live in america especially (if you don’t, have a wonderful WIAW!). God bless.

how are y’all celebrating the 4th of july?
what are you looking forward to this month?